Morning all,

It’s blatantly obvious to anyone that cares, Arsenal Football Club cannot defend set pieces. It hurts me to say this but facts are facts and Mr ‘Arsene Marmite’ is not known for his defensive coaching skills and never will be.

If we were to ever be in a position to acquire a defender then chances are Marmite would coach it out of them. Word is out that Thomas Vermaelen may now be finally ready to take up his position in the team and this is a piece of managerial magic timing.

Out of every competition and the final nail has been fully driven into the coffin, the master tactician has decided Vermaelen is now ready. But where to field him I can hear you all saying?

Well that may be the Marmite Tactical ploy.

He knows that it is safe to field him now that there is no fear of winning any silverware but if he plays well there could still be a mathematical chance of second place and we don’t want to take that chance so Thomas will be fielded as a centre forward.

We very seldom get that high up the field so he shouldn’t get to many touches which cuts down the chances of injury and the perfect position to let him ease back in after his very hard season, we cannot take the chance of a burn out in our run in.

So Thomas back in and Robin has played far to many games this season so he can warm the bench and seeing that Robin is predominately left footed but he did score with his right foot, he would be perfect cover for Sagna should he tire so that’s sorted.

Marmite is even worried that Chesney has been a little taxed so has decided that because our figures are better than most of the league teams, it could be the chance to field Jens as he has now been well rested from his last fine performance, knocking over all those attackers can take it out of you when your 41.

So a decision on Jens and Ches will probably be decided on a spin of a coin, good tactics that.

Marmite has also heard those vicious rumours of Christopher Samba nearly joining us and wants to nip that in the bud. His years in the game has told him Samba could never play on the wing so he wants to put that rumour to bed early.

Arsene has studied the results this year, gone over all the figures and worked out that we have had a successful season, he’s concluded that we need not get involved in high-priced Demigods. He feels so confident of his tactics that he doesn’t believe we need to change too much.

Denilson is just coming good and Diaby should be fit for the second half of next season so plans are for no change. He is concerned that Pat Rice may not be able to hobble out to his seat so a stretcher bearer may be called for but if it does get too much for him, Marmite can always fall back to Jens, although Jens has trouble pulling on a jersey at his age he can still find his own way to Pats chair, so no hiccups envisaged.

It may be a step to far to accomplish what we have this year for next season but anything in the top eight will be remarkable. The team is gaining experience as we go along and as long as nobody has a really good spell, there shouldn’t be any upsets. He is quite adamant that the funds put aside for transfers will not be needed as he has complete faith in this team and knows that the belief he has instilled together with the mental strength will endeavour to get us through another good profit year.

So everything is rosy in the Arsenal garden and the only thing supporters will have to decide on is either pie and chips or toast and yes you guessed it Marmite.

Breaking news has just come in that several players from all over are being linked to us, Marmite has had his aides running about to squash these stories as he feels it may affect the turnout for the walk prior to the Villa game.

Arsene has since stated that he has no knowledge of these players and that The Arsenal are not involved.

Finally, a close Arsenal insider has confirmed that the march planned for Sunday should not affect the afternoons event and a full house is expected….

Oh, just one other piece of good news which involves about Cesc and Nasri, Marmite was again asked if there was any truth in the rumours that they may leave the Arsenal for pastures new.

Arsene replied in fluent French, that the south of France is quite breathtaking at this time of the year, so reading between the lines it’s just a holiday together, I’m sure Arsene has informed them of the perfect hotels.

Well that just about wraps the news up for the time being but you can be sure if anything happens in Arsenal Wonderland you will be the first to know, ‘Sac le Bleu’.

Written by Steve Palmer