One of the funniest and most insightful film clips of the week was a cutting-room floor outtake of Sky Sports’ Rob Palmer interviewing a not-so-jovial ’arry Redknapp. Palmer had the temerity to suggest that ’arry might be something of ‘wheeler- dealer’… Perish the thought.
’arry took great exception to this, and terminated the interview somewhat curtly; with a crudely worded suggestion that Palmer might like to take his microphone and camera and point them elsewhere. This was followed by one of Redknapp’s underlings suggesting, equally vociferously, that the terms ‘football manager’ and ‘wheeler-dealer’ are mutually exclusive.
When I had finally stopped laughing I started to think about Palmer’s assertion, and wondered why Redknapp had found it so insulting. For the life of me I couldn’t think of an answer that painted Redknapp in any sort of favourable light.
Was it, as the headline had suggested, ‘arry in denial, or was there a more sinister explanation? Inconceivable as it may sound perhaps Daniel Levy (N17’s very own Shylock) had managed to instil a modicum of fiscal responsibility in the man who, for so many years, danced like a whirling dervish across the crimson-inked balance sheets of so many south-coast clubs.
To my artless and simplistic understanding, there exist two distinct and separate beings at the helm of any successful Premier League football club. The former is usually found at the coal-face, wearing short pants, looking entirely incongruous, and trying his level best to ensure that not only does each part function correctly, but that the whole is of significantly more value than the sum of those individual parts.
He spends his conscious daylight moments sniffing back hay-fever mucus, and scratching at his crotch, while bellowing four-lettered words from the touchline, alongside such bons mots as ‘get in their faces’ and ‘don’t let em breathe’ and ‘go on my son, ave im, ave im! He’s the good-old British meat and two veg, who crawls between the sheets at night with his back aching from the daily toil, and numbers and formations snapping and gnawing at his brain like Piranha at a carcass… 4-4-2 and 4-3-3 and 4-1-3-1-1, and 2-3-5 (or can’t you remember that one) and so on ad infinitum.
The latter, on the other hand, is an entirely more accomplished and sophisticated being. He is the inspirer and creator, with all of the more endearing attributes of the former, and yet so much more to boot. He understands the motivations of the playing and coaching and management staff, and probably devised many of the formations that haunt those lesser brains.
He knows about the whole, because he specified what that whole should be. He did it at the same time that he created the environment within which everyone can and does succeed.
He too is a wheeler-dealer, who bought at the right time and sold at the right time, and then not only developed and tuned each cog of this high-performance footballing wheel to perfection, but specified the mixture of fuel necessary for maximum efficiency. He is both strategist and tactician, and he is all things to all men; an acknowledged master of the universe, and he’ll carry the future with him.
So why on earth did Redknapp not positively burst with pride at this premature ennoblement? When the hapless Palmer called him a wheeler-dealer, and in so doing likened him to a genuine master of the universe, why did he not spread his feathers like the proud and glorious peacock that he always secretly wanted to be?
When Arsene Wenger buys for pennies and sells for millions can Redknapp not see a correlation, or does he only see the wheeler-dealer as a caricature of himself; the Arthur Daly of the footballing world with trilby hat, and felt-collared barathea coat, and golden Virginia roll-up pinched tightly between forefinger and thumb?
Because, my fellow Gooners, that is precisely what he is…
He is the boy who wheeled-and-dealt his way from the streets of Poplar to the opulence of millionaire’s playground Sandbanks and the halls of White Hart lane. The ambitious young cockney who played alongside the greats of the game on the pitch, and who now sits alongside the greats of the game in the dugout; the boyhood Arsenal fan, who wheeled-and-dealt his tortuous way to fame and fortune, but who still looks jealously up at the glory of the Arsenal, and the genuine master of the universe who plies his trade there.
I can recall my own uncertain steps into adulthood when, at the tender age of fifteen, I left my adopted home to join the armed forces. The last thing I can recall was my adopted grandmother placing a frail arm around youthful shoulders and offering the words of advice that have lasted me a lifetime… ‘Michael,’ she said, ‘to thine own self be true’.
It was long before I came to appreciate the genius of Shakespeare, or understand the timeless wisdom of the loquacious Polonius, but those words have stayed with me ever since that day.
All his life Harry Redknapp has rubbed shoulders with the greats, without ever being one of the greats… that has to sting a little. But the words that my old white-haired granny armed me with, all those years ago, I now happily pass on to him…
To thine own self be true, ‘arry, to thine own self be true.
n.b.
Next week: ‘Neither a borrower nor a lender be’ – More words from the Bard of Avon, and more of the wisdom of Polonius, as we look north-west to Hicks and Gillett and the Glazer family… Just kidding.
Morning all
I loved reading that mike, I am sat smiling to myself, great way to start the day 🙂
Guys, Gals – I have to pop out for a few hours, back around lunchtime….
Morning Folks,
Rico has been up for hours, set up the post, welcomed the world, and is now out trawling the shops for bargains as I speak.
I’ve only just managed to find the screen, but am now available for criticism and comments as the mood takes. 😆
Morning Mike, Top post mate and very very subtle am sure RA with love your play on words….! Am around and about but not always here so pls don’t think ignoring you if i don’t reply quickly.
Morning WATH,
For a second there I thought the world (apart from Rico) had forgotten to wake up… glad you liked it and enjoy the day.
I think I’m awake Mike althoug not quite sure lol. Great post enjoyed reading…!.
Morning MikeB,
Now there is a true master piece. It is humourous, cutting, analytical with an apposite, very personal and endearing underscore.
On top of all that you underscore the whole by mentioning Shakespeare’s Polonius, who is a blowhard devious character in Hamlet neatly underlining the depths of corruption in the story.
Amazing! I enjoyed it so much I re-read it with a critical eye looking at the structure. Faultless!
You are the doyen of the blogosphere post writing. 🙂
(Clearly I have taught you nothing I know). 😉
Articles like this actually do deserve a wide audience on NN. . . . .
Morning RA, hope you well canck in a bit…!
Hi WATH, hope you are well too! 🙂
I am impressed with your negotiating skills, as I have been since we first chatted on AR.
First, you succeeded in retaining Cesc, by telling Barca where to go in v. forthright terms, and now, despite millions of supporters loving vuvuzelas, which you hated, you have managed to get FIFA and UEFA to ban the buggers. Excellent job! 🙂
Morning RA,
Whatever the merits or otherwise of the piece, they pale into insignificance when compared to your critique. 😆
As for the blog… for a while there it was a little like wetting yer pants in a dark suit… you get a nice warm feeling and nobody notices 😆
Hope you’re having a good day.
Hi WATH,
Yes, it would be nice to enjoy a wider audience, but I think it’s very important in these early days that we contribute as much as possible to HH and Rico, and all those things that I hope this site is and will continue to be.
The beauty of this site is the balance and humour and good-natured camaraderie. When I visit other sites I see how important that is, and how hollow the negativity becomes without it.
We’ll get there.
MikeB,
Your view about HH reflects mine exactly. I agree with WATH that it would be nice for Rico to get the recognition from Newsnow her site deserves, but it isn’t essential.
What do you think about the new squad? Well that’s the whole of the Arsenal playing staff then! 🙂
MikeB,
Going back to the subject of your article, there always comes a time in the life of people who “make it” when they crave recognition and credit, however undeserved.
It happens often with politicians and film stars who achieve their “status” because of their skill in manipulating the political system, or are fortunate to land screen roles thru’ the casting couch or influential patrons, and then want to pontificate on the rights or wrongs of particular issues they feel will benefit their careers.
So too with Footie managers. How often do you see third rate managers like Fat Sam or his acolyte Perma Tan Brown sucking up to old Purple Nose.
They feel their association with him gives them some credibility or authority when they expound their latest nonsense castigating Le Prof.
‘Arry is no different. Happy to be a wheeler dealer when at West Hem or Portsmuff, but now wants to be known as a manager and tactical mastermind at the “prestigious” Spuds. Interesting Real Madrid called him a liar over his comments regarding the tfr value of Van the Fart then! 🙂
All to human, I suppose, and therefore too predictable.
Hi RA,
Yeah I agree… not with the bit about recommending RICO takes herself to the nearest casting couch 😆
but the rest…
It never ceased to amaze me in business that so many otherwise clever and perceptive boards of directors looked at talented individuals and then promoted them to obvious levels of incompetence.
I see the same with ‘arry; the arm-around-the-shoulder, come-on-my-son, wheeler dealer is just that; an important cog, but never more than that.
I see the Real Madrid comments as a tip-of-the iceberg warning to Levy; i.e. put a muzzle on him and get him back in short pants on the touchline quick, because he’s reached his level of incompetence.
Let’s hope Levy doesn’t see that until it’s too late
😆
As for orange-Brown and Fat Sam… they’re the gang around old red-nose that every school bully needs… it gives him credibility, or at least in the eyes of the frightened kids.
But that’s a whole other subject. 😆
morning all…nice piece…
Morning Oliver,
Thanks, but it’s all a little quiet at the moment… I think Rico went shopping 😆
yeah, nothing much going on, it seems. probably just as well.
I guess that’s the nature of the hysteria that greeted our inactivity in the transfer window… the aftermath of hysteria is nearly always a period of slight embarrassment and silent reflection.
Well that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it 😆
Boo – afternoon all
🙂
hiya rico. still morning here.
Hi Rico,
we had thousands on just now, but they just went for lunch 😆
morning oliver 😉
no shopping for me mike, had to take my mum to the hospital, don’t know why they bother giving out appointments, her’s was at 10am, she got in about 1130…. grrrrr
I am doing battle with NN, hoping I will soon wear them down 😉
Good comments today 😉
Oh, why have we got three goal keepers in our squad of twenty five, are we allowed to play all three at once? We may keep a clean sheet then 😉
When you see some of the dross NN directs us to, it does make you wonder.
Wenger got the idea from Tesco… Buy one, get two free 😆
Hi Rico,
Actually, as there are about 70 players in the “squad” including Chesney, (home grown under 21) we can pick any and all of them.
Probably not all at the same time! 🙂
Hi RA, thats the one benefit from having so many under 21’s, they dont have to be listed in the main 25, maybe we included all the keepers to make up the numbers 😉
Quite a few clubs have not named a full 25 quota…
mike, you are spot on, some are really ‘different’ but I think that being different gets you on there quicker….
maybe we are all ‘too nice’ 😉 😉
Hi Oliver,
I could not stay up last night to watch the Yankees, (post 12 midnight) but I see they just scraped by, whereas your guys went down again. 🙁
Come and join the Yankees. 🙂
i read we have cheesed many off with our squad, love it 🙂
hi ra. sorry, no can do. that would be tantamount to my shifting support to chelsea, just because they are winning trophies – something i just cannot do. and so it is with the metsies…
that, however, is not to say that i enjoy what i am seeing right now. last night was perhaps a new low. atlanta’s tommy hansen was winless in his last ten starts, has lost his last five decisions – so naturally the mets make him look like greg maddux! twenty-nine games left in the season – no spark, no sense they will turn this around, no nothing. just a morbid curiosity as to how many games they will finish under .500, and if they will end up in the division cellar (only eight games ahead of the woeful nationals).
they were playing so well in may and june – that seems like a lifetime ago.
nyg have their last pre-season game tonight, against ne.
I don’t think News International liked the fact that to get our squad up to twenty-five we would need to buy another thirty players. 😆
last night they scored one run. in a nine innning game, they sent 27 batters to the plate: four of them reached base (two hits, two walks)…that’s right – four!!!!! they have not hit since late june – i have never, ever seen a team so through such a prolonged slump. particularly a team that was hitting well prior to the slump. it’s like they completely disappeared. now they are sloppy in the field as well, with errors leading to runs in each of the three atlanta games. the starting pitching had been very good throughout, but misc and niese had poor outings on monday and tuesday and pelf was not sharp last night – when the starters do not pitch effectively, the team is dead – no chance…
our “ace” johan santana, starts tonight to try and at least salvage a game in atlanta – problem is that the mets do not score runs for him. another 1-0 or 2-1 loss, with at least seven good innings from johan looks about right…
😆 mike, i think wenger saw all this coming, he still could have added a keeper though, no matter how smart and forward think he is 😉
Rico,
yeah, there I have to agree… as I said yesterday he should either have bought, or done nothing and left Almunia there…
I know the leaks came from Fulham and the mendacious Hughes, but he really should have anticipated that.
this is the worst of all worlds.
But then; even the most brilliant diamond needs a flaw, or we don’t believe it’s genuine 😆
Another spot-on comment mike, what he did was a tad stupid, what he should have done is gone knocking on Ajax’s door 😉 Maybe January when they are out of the CL… 😆
Now I never believe diamonds are real 😉
Its a quiet old day in the blog world of Arsenal….
Its also a long time yet until we get club footie back 🙁
probably why there is nothing doing. i have no interest in reading about rooney, capello, and the rest of the england squad.
Top, top write, mikeb. 🙂 Your assessment of Twitch is both damning and… true. 🙂 He is nothing short of execrable.
Hola, rico and oliver. It is a very quiet day… We must all still be recovering from that disease… whatsitcalledagain??? High Expectations? 🙂
oliver – but many countries are involved and many many Arsenal players 😉
Hi agag, spot on and shattered dream syndrome…. 😉
Thanks AGAG, most kind,
while we’re all feeling lethargic, I was wondering about the 25 man squad rule.
You don’t think the PL made a typo when they announced that it would come into force?
Are we sure they didn’t say it would come into farce? 😆
except the focus – particularly on england – is with non-arsenal players. theo may get a mention here or there, but it is mostly about the aforementioned. two rounds of qualifiers/internationals, plenty of opportunity for unwelcome injuries…
hiya agag.
Haha, rico. Well, mine is now the hope that Almunia has become so angered by AW’s hardly disguised disappointment, and retaliates by having a storming season. 🙂 Stranger things have happened…
I like that mike – ‘farce’
Hats off to wenger I say, he has just blown a massive hole in the silly rule, not one English born ‘home-grown’ player and not one English player in the whole ‘main squad’ – I just love it….
Not that I don’t wish we had a few English players in our side, I do, only because I may get a bit more interested in watching England then 😉
oliver – i can see why international fortnight is not your fav, its not mine either….. And poor old Theo, he only has to do one thing wrong and all the pudits will be hanging him out to dry again…
Don’t hear them mention how many years it was since Shrek scored for his country do we… grrr
agag, he has been pretty decent so far, against BB he actually made a few good saves and I do believe I saw him come off his line to catch a cross 😉 You just never know, but i am not holding my breath….
In fact he will get nothing but my support from now on, well, until the next howler 😉
agree rico – i think knives are being sharpened for theo as we speak. i am not sure that theo even has to do anything wrong – is it out of the realm of possiblity for theo to have a solid game and score a goal against bulgaria, yet england only manage a 2-2. do you not think the likes of w*ddle and his ilk will crawl out of their holes and slate theo as one of the reasons england failed to win?
regarding rooney, not only has he not scored in ages for england, but it was only a penalty against west ham that broke his united duck last saturday. his last goal for them had been at allianz (first leg v bayern). of course, there is no need to mention his drought is there? he is only going through a “temporary patch” and he will come good again. after all, he has a football brain…
i wouldn’t put anything pass the likes of waddle and co to be honest, theo could score 3 in a 3-3 draw and still he’d be pulled to pieces, what narks me is all those around him who play sub-standard during so many games seem to be above the slating…
however, i think Shearer and Lineker are fans of Theo at the moment, either that or they just don’t want to look twits like Hansen made himself appear…
It has definitely just come into farce, mikeB. 🙂
Exactly what I was thinking, rico. AW wanted to make a statement. He must be rather pleased with himself. 🙂
Theo is the media’s favorite whipping boy. The press do not rip into St. Stevie or Shrek even if they perform poorly. And let’s be honest, Shrek was comprehensively awful in the last WC.
that is the only reason he took the penalty i bet, he may have a footballing brain, but that is all that’s in his head – he can go off on hols, smoke, drink and do whatever yet he is still a hero in the eyes of the pundits, its wrong!
telling you though, Theo has grown in many ways, he is on the way to proving all doubters wrong, i would at this stage like to mention that i did not every fall within that category 😉 😛
Shrek has comprehensively awful for a long while agag 🙂
Anyone know whats happening with Henri Lansbury…?
Loan or no loan?
Too true, oliver. The Waddles and Hansens of this world will pounce upon even the most innocuous mistake of Theo and pronounce their No Footballing Brain for the nth time… Ho-hum.
We never questioned your commitment, rico. 😉 I shall try to share your roseate view that Theo’s come good this time. 🙂 (Well, that is until he makes that poor cross again and fails to properly take the oppo’s defender.)
No idea about Lansbury. I thought the loan was on hold?? And Sami’s back in training?? 🙂
Actually I think where Shrek’s concerned they meant he’s got a brain like a football… all air 😆
Actually if you think about the idiot Waddle and the problems with Theo… it all started when Shrek was standing around in the six-yard box, like a bump on a log, and Theo didn’t ricochet the ball off his head.
Shrek went into a strop and they all started on Theo.
Since then Shrek has continued to play poorly and Theo has gone on to better and better things;
What goeas around huh?
Poor Shrek, with a mug only a mum could love, hot air on his upper storey, and shooting boots that must have been cursed à la Bendtner at Burnley. 😉
agree, agag. in fact, i am sorry i even mentioned rooney in the first place.
You are on top form mike, as are you agag 🙂
As long as we lambast Cesc when his passing goes astray 😉 😉
No-one ever mentions the glaring miss by Lumpard and Johnson though do they?? Both of course following an inch perfect cross from not so young Theo 😉
Isn’t it just so typical of SKY.
When Hleb went to Birmingham they made a big deal out of old red nose sending a letter of support.
Turns out that both red nose and Wenger wrote letters.
McLeish just talked about it.
Presumably Arsene Wenger’s letter was the only one with joined-up writing 😆
Nah, rico. Cesc is still aeoooons ahead of Theo. 🙂
You know what mike, how spooky, i just been reading that, typical Sky (aka man u tv) indeed!
Even after this summer agag 😉
Rico,
they say great minds think alike…
then again, they also say fools seldom differ 😆
😆 i don’t have you down as the latter so we’ll stick with great minds shall we 😉 😉
That’s all over now, rico. (flutters lashes) I have consigned to the past Cesc’s dalliance with the stains.
But that obnoxiousness incarnate Xavi, that runt Messi, that beanpole Pique, that Neanderthal Puyol, and that melanin-deficient Iniesta still occupy my hitlist. 🙂 🙂
Hmme, I had a feeling you may say that agag 😉
I was so desperate for him to speak, but now I am glad he didn’t, in all honesty he could have easily behaved like Mascerano (spelling) and forced a move but he remained loyal… for now anyway 😉
Well that’s me for the day folks.
I was going out tonight, but Ferrari recalled all the 458 Italia models, cos they kept bursting into flames, and so I think I’ll leave it in the garage and start on the Rioja a tad early 😆
Have a good evening everyone
Its not early mike, I have just opened a bottle myself, not a Rioja though, a good ordinary claret, soft and fruity, bit like me really 😳
Have a good evening mike, catch up tomorrow sometime, i’m afraid standards drop tomorrow, its my post 😉 😉
naaah, it will be fine. always is.
Rico,
at least you had the decency to blush 😆
Not true about the standards; you write as well as anyone on the Arsenal sites.
You enjoy your evening too, and I’ll look forward to reading the pearls tomorrow.
Have a good one
you old smoothies you 😉 😉
old indeed
i had you down as young Arsenal Fan oliver, i thought I was the oldest here 🙂
Who’s the oldest deer?
rico, your writing’s always a-rate. 🙂 And that is a genuine compliment. 😉
Good night, mike, rico, oliver. 🙂
i am not so old, but probably old than some think. perhaps.
G’Nite, Agag. 🙂
night agag
Nighty night agag, thank you for your kind comments, see you tomorrow 🙂
RA – Ceasar is the oldest deer i have been watching recently…. 🙂
ha-ha oliver, you give nothing away 😉
ok then, what made us support Arsenal, what was that year, that special moment….??
Yes I know, some fans are born in the right place, I wasn’t, many of us weren’t but I love the club all the same 🙂
And I thought it was Rudolph! 🙂
Who is Ceasar (?)
Ah, you don’t watch the Spring and Autumn Watch television programme then RA, being an old country girl, I love them….
Ceasar is a long standing deer who wins rutt after rutt, quite amazing really ….
RA! I read “Dog Pack Attacks Alligator” and thought to myself how on earth could RA possibly think this would cheer anyone up? Five seconds later, I was all “Awww”.
i have given some things away – where i have lived, other teams i support, marital status and spouse nationality. i just do not give away everything.
ok then, i became an arsenal supporter in 1994, while living in peterboro – ecwc run, culminating with alan smith’s goal in copenhagen, upsetting that star-studded parma side. of course, the next 12 months were difficult – gg’s sacking, the plunge down the league table, and nayim from the halfway line. but i stuck with them – just as i am sticking with my baseball team now – and am glad i did.
Rico,
I haven’t watched it recently, but I do remember a programme a couple of years ago.
Was Caesar the one horned thug who beat up all the regular two horned guys? Should have been called JT. 🙂
Agag,
You back? Glad you liked it. 🙂
I don’t hold with animal cruelty of any kind.
How do you speak such god awfully good grammatical and colloquial english? 🙂
Oliver, I remember you telling me about Peterborough, so that’s not new. We need more! 😉
Rico, what happened to your move to the south coast?
This is so exciting.
Unfortunately, it’s got to wait ’til tomorrow, I must fly. 🙂
1971 for me oliver, Charlie George, as for anything else about me….
I love to shop, iron, do housework, clean the cars and do the gardening 😆
I sure as heck remember smudgers goal though, reminds me of the film…. Against all odds 😉
I was going to answer you RA, but you have gone, night night….
That’s me done for the day guys and gals, hope you will all be back same time, same place tomorrow – I know I will….
Stay safe and enjoy the rest of your day…
Bye for now… 😛
ra, more? such as…
oliver, RA has gone for the day, you don’t need to tell anymore, certainly not to the blog world 😉
just as well, then. checking out and looking forward to reading tomorrow’s blog-post tour de force
take care oliver, see you tomorrow 🙂
i’m gone now…
Morning all
New Post is up