Morning guys and gals.
A little ‘funny’ for you all this morning which I stole off of the internet. My apologies in advance for the language…
Christmas Dinner….
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs. It’s a Sunday lunch for goodness sake!!! We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year…apparently not!
Here goes…
1. Turkey – It’s a big fecking chicken that’s all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees – jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer and poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!
2. Stuffing – regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs, pine nuts and a shite load of fresh herbs to make stuffing….( no fecking wonder he’s bankrupt if that’s what he spends to make stuffing!)
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking 😉.
3. Gravy – Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell….
Bisto Jamie…. All you need is Bisto!
I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to mess about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour, cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy 😠😠😠
4. Vegetables… Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable… If you don’t like them don’t buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that’s good enough!
5. Roast potatoes… Yes I part boil mine then roast them in fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same 😉.
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like…. Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we’re on the subject of pudding- if Birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that’s fine – you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family – Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce – fine leave em to it, it doesn’t matter. Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your lunch in Peace!
Adults… Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally…..
NO ONE…. And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET PISSED AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!
Rant over 😂
Merry Christmas to you all. Have a wonderful time whatever you get up to…
rico xx
Happy Christmas Rico and a big thank you for all your posts throughout the year
Morning Rico, I did chuckle, but sausages with paxo, never thought of that before?
I do like sausage meat with my Christmas dinner, especially when someone else has had to cook it… 😉
Very good, Rico 🙂 🙂
I hope you all have a wonderful day, and enjoy it with family and friends.
Morning all and hope Santa came down your chimney bearing gifts and if you have a modern home without a chimney I hope he came up you back passage !
Just see this on newsnow…………..”Tottenham have banned one of its fans for throwing a cup at goalkeeper Kepa Arrizabalaga”……………….first cup seen at Totnumb for years and they ban the fcuker!
And on this day lets spare a thought for all the Spuds kids opening their Xmas present only to find a Totnumb kit!…………………..and it`s supposed to be the season of good will !……………..evil bastards !
😆
LCM, you have a cheeky sense of humour…the tossed cup and the lack of them. B&Q won’t be selling shelving units in Tottenham in the foreseeable future then?
Mikel Arteta is held in high esteem by several successful coaches in the Premiership and, if his interviews are anything to go by he’ll not tolerate any nonsense from ANY player, whatever their talents (or lack of them), who are not prepared to put a shift in for 90+ minutes.
Hallelujah!!!
Have a good Xmas Day everyone and may Boxing Day be Day 1 of the recovery – we are NOT that far behind fourth place.
Thanks for the cooking tips Rico, a peach of a menu!!!!
Hi Rico, a very timely post…
Just as i read through my partner went to the kitchen to make her own stuffing.
The filling of 3 pork&apple sausages and some vile dried mix, hate stuffing myself..lol
Hope you are all having cracking day…
I’ve just sneaked off for a minute or two of peace and quiet. We’ve had the turkey and trimmings, the Xmas pud and custard, the trifle and the mince pies. We’ve had the after lunch walk with the dogs, opened the pressies and got through the cheese and port. A few party games now but, hopefully, they’ll all be off soon leaving my wife and I to sink exhausted onto the sofa with coffee, brandy and mints.
Lovely family day7, I wouldn’t miss it for the World.
Morning to you all.
Hope you all had a wonderful day yesterday…
New post up now.